


If I Should Live Long

by Everdistant



Category: Senki Zesshou Symphogear
Genre: Gen, hibiki living that wild life, underage drinking i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 14:53:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6524665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everdistant/pseuds/Everdistant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsubasa and Hibiki drink and talk about Kanade, forgiveness, and bad hair days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Should Live Long

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rankarana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rankarana/gifts).



> I'm gonna write more fic probably
> 
> Mostly just inspired by chatting with my friend Ranka. Takes place a few months post GX. As far as I can tell Kanade doesn't have any official birthday, so I left the timeline vague.

The Kazanaris have a lot of money, Hibiki's realizing. Of course, her master has a really nice place, but she up until now she's figured it came from a nice government paycheck. She assumes he has a nice government paycheck. Suddenly she's worried that SONG might be underfunded. Sure, her paycheck is nice, but she's never had any other paycheck! Actually, she doesn't even know what the minimum wage is.

"Hey, Shirabe-chan, do you know what the minimum wage is?" Hibiki's asking before she notices. The two of them have been nursing glasses of water in the corner of the party for a while now. With the random streamers and Genjuuro in a party hat, it reminds her of her first trip down to the basement of Lydia. Minus the handcuffs. Maybe the party atmosphere is a sort of social handcuff, though.

That thought might be the reason she's being a wallflower with Shirabe, instead of at the center of the party.

"Less than we get paid," Shirabe answers, apparently having read Hibiki's mind. She's good at that - good enough that Hibiki doesn't really see a way to continue the conversation. So they keep sitting against the wall, watching Maria talk to Ogawa, watching Elfnein and Kirika try to find some sort of rhythm in the music even though she's pretty sure it's Chinese folk music being supplied from a record player two rooms across.

It's a few minutes later when Genjuuro comes up to them, two plastic cups in his hands. When she takes one from him, the smell is strong enough for even her to recognize it as alcohol, and she looks up at him, confused.

"Master, I've never drank before!" She protests, but Genjuuro just laughs, deep and booming as usual. She can watch the sake in her cup ripple as his laugh dies down. Her and Shirabe share a look.

"Don't worry about it, Hibiki-kun. Just think of it as overtime pay! I was a lot younger than you two are when my father gave me my first sip of sake."

Hibiki and Shirabe are still looking at each other, but eventually they nod and take a sip. Hibiki smacks her lips, but she notices a weird shiver going up Shirabe's spine. She must not have liked it.

"Too strong? You are pretty small, Shirabe-kun. Do you need something lighter? I'll ask Maria-kun if she brought anything..."

"Wait. Maria's been drinking?" Shirabe asks. There's a pause as they all consider this, and then Shirabe continues with an even worse thought. "Kiri?"

"Well, yes. Maria-kun is old enough to bring her own alcohol, and Kirika-kun actually asked me for some. It's what made me want to give you and Chris-"

"Chris," Shirabe cuts him off. She takes a deep breath, hands her cup over to Hibiki, and takes a step forward, shoulders firm. "I have to save us. From everything. Goodbye, Hibiki."

"... Bye, Shirabe-chan," Hibiki says, wondering if she'll ever see her again. It's Genjuuro she shares a look with this time, and he shrugs.

"Speaking of goodbyes... have you seen Tsubasa? When she excused herself, I thought she was going to talk to you, but..."

"Eh? I remember her saying she was going to talk to... you..." Hibiki trails off. Tsubasa'd slipped out of the party? It's not like she doesn't get feeling uncomfortable at a party, but they're all her friends! Plus - it feels weird, knowing Tsubasa had lied to her just to get out of this. She wouldn't have minded if she just wanted to be by herself.

Genjuuro rubs the back of his head for a moment, and Hibiki chews on her cheek. It's very awkward. It's another reason she doesn't like parties - if something goes wrong, she feels like the tension in the room is going to choke her.

"Could you go check on her, Hibiki-kun?"

"Eh? Shouldn't you?"

"I think... she'd prefer you. As a girl her own age, and as a comrade she's fought alongside."

Hibiki doesn't want to disturb Tsubasa if she really wants to be alone, but somehow, the word that comes out of her mouth is "Okay." If Tsubasa's in such a bad mood that she'd slink off without telling anyone, maybe she does need someone to talk to.

It doesn't take long to find her. Doors are ajar in her wake, and she finds the clip Tsubasa usually has in her hair resting on a table. Even at times like this, Tsubasa is pretty messy. She follows her trail to the balcony, and she can tell someone's out there.

"Tsubasa-san?" Hibiki asks, hands resting on the balcony door. It's silly, but when it's just her and Tsubasa, she gets sucked into her atmosphere. She winds up being as polite as possible. Like right now, waiting for her permission to come talk to her.

Tsubasa gives it with a small smile and a small motion of her hand. She pats the empty space beside her before turning her head back up to the night sky.

It's incredibly clear. Even though it's dark, the light from the stars and the full moon is so pure that it's easy to for Hibiki to see. Tsubasa's face is flushed already, and her hair is down. Not in the way where she brushes it out, but in the way where she just pulls the side-tail out and lets it fall where it wants. Hibiki can't judge, considering the state of her own hair, but she still wants to take a brush to it.

"I was just admiring our handiwork," Tsubasa says lightly as she sips on the last of her drink. It takes Hibiki a moment to catch what she means. Tsubasa waits, silent, as Hibiki blinks up at the night sky.

When her eyes finally fall on the missing chunk of the moon, Hibiki giggles. Tsubasa chuckles along with her, a low noise in the back of her throat, and Hibiki's glad she didn't need the joke explained to her. She hasn't heard much of Tsubasa's laugh, but that just makes her happier when she does.

"Is it okay if I sit?" Hibiki asks despite the motion from earlier, and Tsubasa just reaches up and takes her by the wrist. Hibiki squawks as she's pulled down beside her, but she doesn't protest.

"You will be sitting," Tsubasa corrects her, and Hibiki takes it as a new law. Right. Time to sit down. Forever, maybe, but if Tsubasa's next to her that wouldn't be so bad. Hibiki watches her for a second, and when she hands her a cup Hibiki takes it and does her best to hold it steady. Even with the drinks she's already had, it isn't hard. She's done this while working out, after all.

Tsubasa leans in closer to pour her drink for her, and Hibiki finds herself staring. The older girl looks so unguarded. Hibiki wouldn't call it rare, of course, but it's... rareish? Tsubasa's smiling, in a crooked kind of way, and despite all her poise Hibiki can hear the sake dripping onto the ground as she pulls away. Did Tsubasa spill some?

She'd say that isn't like her, but she's never seen Tsubasa drinking. With how traditional her family is, Hibiki wouldn't be surprised if she'd done this a lot. At parties, maybe. Do the Kazanaris have a lot of parties?

Hibiki's torn out of her thoughts by Tsubasa thrusting the bottle in her face. Without a word, Hibiki sets her cup to the side and begins the surprisingly solemn task of pouring. She can feel Tsubasa's eyes on her. Is she judging her? She's totally judging her.

"Eheh. Uhm, I've never done this before, Tsubasa-san... so," Hibiki tries to make excuses. Tsubasa is still staring at her. Hibiki bites her lip and trails off into a series of quiet squawks. They're honest attempts at words, but Hibiki just gives up halfway through.

"You should relax, Tachibana," Tsubasa says, kindly. Hibiki takes that as a new law, too. She tilts the bottle back up, peers into Tsubasa's cup to make sure it's full, then sets it aside. It makes a small thump kind of noise as it touches the balcony.

Tsubasa clears her throat, and Hibiki snaps to attention. Just because the law's in place doesn't mean Hibiki's good at following it.

"Tachibana. Are you the kind of person who gets nervous when they drink?" Tsubasa asks, as Hibiki realizes the flush on her own cheeks must be pretty obvious. She nods after a second, not wanting to lie to Tsubasa. The first response is that low chuckle again, and then Tsubasa reaching out to stroke her hair.

"Tsubasa-san!?" Hibiki squawks, but Tsubasa doesn't pull away.

"The best cure for that is more drinking," Tsubasa says, and Hibiki picks her cup back up and stares at it. It smells way nicer than the alcohol back at the party. Tsubasa's family pops back into Hibiki's mind, and she figures this must be the good stuff. Expensive and hard to get a hold of.

Tsubasa's hand finally pulls away, and she raises her own cup.

"We'll have a toast," Tsubasa suggests, and Hibiki nods along.

"To, uhm, what, though?"

Tsubasa thinks on that for a second. "To Kanade," is what Tsubasa says, and Hibiki immediately realizes why Tsubasa had a second cup sat out. She'd already toasted to Kanade before she even got here. With Kanade, even.

"Yeah. To Kanade-san," Hibiki smiles, and they tap their drinks together. The clink of porcelain on porcelain disturbs the calm night air for a second.

"Cheers," they say together. Tsubasa raises her cup to an invisible third person, and Hibiki does the same. Then, they drink.

It's soft on the way down, much sweeter than the sake she had before. This really is the quality stuff, and Hibiki doesn't down the whole cup just because it would feel like a waste. She pulls her drink away from her mouth before Tsubasa does, and Hibiki has a second to watch her drink. It isn't long before Tsubasa sets her near-empty cup aside.

"My father told me something, once."

"What?"

"Foreigners drink to forget. Japanese drink to remember," Tsubasa answers as she brings the cup back up to her lips. Hibiki chews on that thought for a moment as she watches Tsubasa sip.

"How drunk was he when he said that?"

"Fairly."

They share another chuckle, not because it's funny but because they both need something to laugh at, and then Tsubasa moves on.

"Her birthday is in a few weeks. Of course, she never liked gifts, so I usually gave her small things. Tools when I wanted to be practical. Accessories when I wanted her to do something about her hair."

"Oh, yeah, her hair was pretty poofy, wasn't it?"

"You should have seen her hair when it rained. She looked like a scared lion. Ah, once, we had an indoor concert on a rainy day... our stylist was nearly tempted to chop the whole mane off."

"That's why I keep mine short, see? If I let it get long, it gets suuuper poofy. One time I tried letting it grow out, but Miku kept telling me to get it cut! 'Hibikiiii, you're gonna get buried under all that hair!'"

"She won out in the end," Tsubasa finishes the story, and Hibiki nods. They both take another drink, and for a moment they don't say anything. They just take in the night. Birds and insects chirping, the lights of the city in the distance. Hibiki tries to place her house, but the angle isn't right for it. She winds up staring at a skyscraper until Tsubasa breaks the silence.

"I wonder if I had silly arguments with Kanade. It's only been a few years, but... I'm already starting to forget things like that. I remember what she looked like, what she sounded like, but - the small moments, the things that make a relationship..."

"Are the kind of thing you drink to remember?" Hibiki guesses, and Tsubasa's silent in a way that makes it clear she's on the money.

"You're sharp when you want to be, Tachibana. I wonder why your grades are so bad."

"You know..." Hibiki trails off, unable to mount a proper defense in the face of that. She doesn't want to talk about school, anyway. 

"Anyway, but why am I here, then? If you wanted to be alone, that'd be okay! It's not like I kne-" Hibiki's cut off by Tsubasa reaching out, poking a finger to her chest, right where her scar is. She misses, and has to slide her finger off her breast and into its proper place. Neither of them comment on it.

"Ahem," Tsubasa clears her throat, and they both pretend that never happened. "You've Kanade right there. No, more than that... you're the only person with any memory of the Kanade I saw. My uncle saw her like a daughter. You..."

"Tsubasa-san... I didn't really get to talk to her? Like, all I've ever known her as was... the person who saved me. Someone I wanted to admire, to live up to."

Tsubasa doesn't say anything in response. The silence is a sort of answer, and Hibiki chews on it for a long while. That - isn't what a relationship should be, should it? But saying that would be awful.

"I can't talk to Yukine about this," Tsubasa finally says. There's no bridge between the two thoughts, but Hibiki gets the train of thought anyway.

"... I don't think it's her fault. I mean, she used the armor, but did she even know where Ryouko-san got it?"

"You're calling that woman Ryouko-san?"

Hibiki chews on her cheek, quietly. Tsubasa didn't approve of the forgiveness Hibiki had shown her, she realized. She knew it wasn't what a normal person would do, after everything, but...

"I think she deserved to die knowing that somebody accepted her," Hibiki starts, unsure of herself. It wasn't like she'd thought through why she'd done it - it had just seemed natural.

"Knowing that somebody would miss her, I guess. That somebody would think about her even after she was gone. Fading out all by herself, with everyone condemning her... it just seemed too cruel."

"She did that to hundreds... thousands, of people. Perhaps even millions. She was alive for quite a long time. Even to those who served her, she was cruel. Would you like to ask Yukine about it sometime?"

"It isn't like I want to be a hero or anything! I don't want to... beat up bad guys. I just want everyone to be happy. It doesn't matter if they're good or bad. They're people, aren't they?"

They're both quiet again, and Hibiki realizes she was raising her voice. She hadn't realized she cared so passionately about this. Now, with Tsubasa quiet, and her still worked up, she wants to keep going.

"Dr. Ver helped us, didn't he? Because we captured him alive. Chris-chan, and Shirabe-chan and Maria-chan, and even Kirika-chan... they're all our friends because we gave them another chance, right? And Shirabe-chan said Ryouko-san helped her, too. That she protected her.

I don't think it's right to forgive someone. But I don't think it's wrong, either. What I think is that, if you give someone a chance... they can tell you why they did the things they did. They can figure out a way to be better."

Hibiki's thinking of her father right now, too. Her dad isn't a good man, she knows that much. She knows he and her mom have a lot to work through. She knows he might slink off again if things get tough, or try and act like everything's okay now that he's back.

But she wants to give him a chance, too. She wants to let him be better. She has to wipe the tears from her eyes to get a proper look at Tsubasa, and by the time she's done with that she sees her smiling at her.

She isn't sure what she said is smile-worthy. Especially from Tsubasa.

"Uhm, Tsubasa-san -"

"This is why I need you, Tachibana," Tsubasa smirks as she says it. It has a self-deprecating tone to it, like she's been made aware of her own weakness. It isn't an unfamiliar tone from Tsubasa, but it's one she hasn't heard in a while.

"How do you mean?" Hibiki asks. Did Tsubasa need her? She knew the older girl wasn't as cool and confident as she always appeared, but needing _her?_ It sounded so weird.

Tsubasa finishes her drink and stares into the empty cup. She holds it out for Hibiki to refill, and Hibiki fumbles with the bottle before pouring Tsubasa another cup. Tsubasa starts to talk as she does, and Hibiki listens.

"That attitude. If you weren't around. If you had died, or if I had fully rejected you back then? I'm certain I wouldn't have forgiven Yukine, the way you did. In fact..."

Tsubasa's voice dies. Hibiki realizes what she's getting at, but doesn't finish the sentence for her. She figures Tsubasa needs to get it out.

"... If I had known her role in Kanade's death, I would have killed her. I would have let Fine die without a second thought, and she would have continued her cycle, filled with hatred for me. I don't know if I would have killed Maria and her group, but I would never have let them fight alongside me. I know for a fact I wouldn't have spared a second thought for a worm like Ver."

Hibiki pulls the bottle away. The two of them are close, now, their noses inches from each other. Tsubasa is forcing herself to look her in the eyes as Hibiki tilts her head back up.

"That's why I need you, Tachibana. You aren't right to think the way you do, and neither am I. But if it weren't for you, I'd still be a lone warrior, searching for a place to die. I might have even found it."

Tsubasa's arms wrap around her, and for once Hibiki doesn't squawk. She returns the gesture, instead, clings tightly to the person she trusts more than anything. Miku is her best friend. But Tsubasa is something different. Someone she admires, but wants to help. Someone she trusts fully, and knows that she's being given the same trust back.

"Thank you for everything, Hibiki."

"I need you too, Tsubasa-san. You always have my back. It's like, since you're there, I know everything will be okay. So, well... thank you, too."

The two of them hug for a long while, Tsubasa's head on Hibiki's shoulder, Hibiki's face against Tsubasa's neck. The night air's quieter now that it's later. Out of the corner of her eye, Hibiki can see that some of the lights in the city are out.

It goes on for so long that Hibiki worries that all the sake's put Tsubasa to sleep, but then Tsubasa squeezes her tighter. Then she pulls away, and Hibiki's left leaning after her before forcing herself to pull away, too. She doesn't think they've hugged before, and Hibiki likes it.

"Pick your cup back up, Tachibana," Tsubasa says, and the pouring this time is even more haphazard.

"Is it okay to spill so much!?"

"It's proof that we aren't putting on airs. We'll have another toast, Tachibana!"

"To what, though? Good health?"

"To our friendship! No, I believe we've proven this goes deeper than mere friendship. Shall we exchange cups and become sworn brothers?"

"We're girls, Tsubasa-san...!"

The two of them laugh like the drunks they are, and when Tsubasa offers Hibiki her cup, she accepts and passes hers over to Tsubasa's.

They clink them together again, and the sake tastes even better from Tsubasa's cup. They drink and laugh and drink some more. Toasting to Chris, to the rest of SONG, and to crane games, laughing every time. When the bottle's empty, they toast to that, and think it's the funniest thing of all.

It's when Tsubasa leaves to get a second bottle that Hibiki leans back against the wall and lets her eyes drift shut, as satisfied as she's ever been. She dreams of samurai and retainers, of ladies and handmaidens.

Relationships that go deeper than blood.

**Author's Note:**

>  _If I should live long,_  
>  Then perhaps the present days  
> May be dear to me,  
> Just as past time filled with grief  
> Comes quietly back in thought.
> 
> it's tsubasa, jp cultural references are mandatory


End file.
